If I were I Balenciaga handbag, I would still be nice to lesser handbags. I would hang on my masteress’ shoulder and faithfully carry her things. I would be filled with Woolies slips, Chanel gloss, pens, paper and loose change. I would sit on the kitchen counter when my carrier went home. I would be happy and soft and I would never be misplaced, for such is the fate of a beautiful Balenciaga bag. Amen.