ORGANIC MY MIND

So many thoughts and ideas course through my mind on a daily basis, like little people at a train station, they stand on the platform waiting for the next electric bolt to come past so they can catch a ride to the current thought in my mind, which gets displayed like a large screen in times square in front of my mind’s eye.

Buy Coldplay tickets… Exchange the bra I bought from Woolies…Call Fran…I’m hungry…How much water have I had today…Who decided which side of the road we should drive on in South Africa…They guy on my September Cosmopolitan calendar is not hot enough to be on a calendar…Conan was really good but quite 80’s…If we are made from the same matter as star dust why can’t we float…etc.

There are frequent travellers like” I must drink more water” they get on the train many, many times a day. I get so tired of thinking that, when I notice I’m thinking that I feel like jumping out the window.

I also like to run through my little “to do” lists frequently, I sometimes feel that if I could only stop making lists I could actually get the things on the lists done. I have had my Nike + connection thingie for my iPod for 3 months now… I have not yet calibrated it with my shoes – Nor have I gone for so much as a walk. Never mind a run.

Procrastination, they say, has saved many people from rash actions and decisions… It has turned me to stone. One has to wonder what it is that makes one procrastinate, is it fear of running out of things to do, fear of accomplishment? Is it fear at all? I would rather colour code my magazine collection than go shopping after I’ve gotten home from a day’s work.

I have found myself making up excuses like “I have to wash my hair” to avoid having to leave the house to have drinks with my friends. I would much rather, dare I say, exhaust the hard drive.

I can’t quite put my finger on it but I suspect that this sloth like “I want to be alone in my nest” behaviour must have something to do with my daily thoughts, or the weather… global warming? A tropic mind disease?

I think we are over stimulated by all the daily activities that we face, “what’s on your mind?” over here… and tweet about that there… “Like” this and win a portable water cooler… All these prompts have my mind rocking itself back and forth in the foetal position.

Combine all those thoughts, “Do I “like” the portable water cooler?” “I must tweet about the shoes I’m wearing today” then add in the thoughts that you need to think “Am I hungry?” “Am I cold?” then throw in a tad of business calculations, a splash of worry about where you’ve parked your car… If that’s not enough, why not chastise yourself for not exercising or perhaps wonder about what to make for dinner tonight… It genuinely leaves you with just about enough energy to wash your hair, and get into bed.

I am literally tired of thinking, I wish there was an off button. However it seems that if you push thoughts or feelings away they just come back with more of a running start and bash into you even harder to try to get your attention.

Meditation…Calm your monkey mind… Yes. That is all fair and well, if your monkey mind, is in fact a monkey mind and not an elephant mind with monkey agility.

This week I have decided to give myself a break, I am going to let all my thoughts run buck wild, wild and free, I am going to think those thoughts and let them wash over me, tumble me like a big wave…

However I have made some rules (Give me a break, everybody needs rules, even free running thoughts, running like wild naked things on a beach in Brazil)

My first rule is –  No Twitter, not even once, for a whole seven days.

My second rule, as you could have guessed is – No Facebook, nothing, not one ounce of facebookness.

Then, strange as this may seem, my third rule is – No Groupon. I have decided that I will have a Groupon free week, as I tend to pick little arguments with myself about why I should or should not buy a laser peel facial for ZAR 162.00, no more fighting with myself over nonsense.

My aim this week will be to think organic thoughts, thoughts thought freely and without prompting. Thoughts born of a mind with space to think. Who knows what great thoughts might come forth when there is more space to swing a proverbial cat. I’ll let you know if anything mind-blowing happens during this little experiment.

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About flickery

I'm a morning person, love tea, love my dogs, fresh air and lots of space. I don't get angry very easily, but I stay angry for a long time when I do. I take everything personally, as I am a person. I like to think and listen to other people, I need to know about things. I love and wine, my friends, and food. The weirdness of me. I love shoes. Reading is good, smoking is not, but I enjoy both. I wish I was a warm summer day with thunderstorms and soft rain that makes the air cling to your skin. I like kissing, ice cream, and chilli'S. I love to play pretend, dance and sing to 80's music, and imagine I can play a sport and own a yaght. the end-ish. just a little.

2 thoughts on “ORGANIC MY MIND

  1. I definitely get where you’re coming from.. I feel like that with my mind all the time. Too many thoughts, no way to center them.. And I lose concentration on tasks all the time! At least you’re living in South Africa where you can go out and enjoy the organic air.. You must be glad summer time is coming around =)

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