I have to admit that I am obsessed with online shopping, I might in fact appear to have a gigantic slight problem if one were to go and nitpick at my bank statements.

There is a certain excitement that only online shopping can provide – let me lead you through the process, backwards…

There you are, you gorgeous thing you, sitting at your desk, bored and agitated and continuously glancing at the big office clock with its roman numerals. The office doorbell buzzes and you are first off your seat, the sound of your heels running down the passage way to greet whoever or whatever waits at the door.

It’s FedEx, and you are smiling and swooning (your colleagues think you are one sandwich short of a picnic and the delivery guy thinks it’s his lucky day) you sign the delivery note, your signature barely resembling its true self and you greedily grab the box and make a bee line towards the kitchen to find something sharp.

With the agility of a surgeon and the speed of Kimi Raikonen, you deftly cut away all the tape that is securing the contents of the box and just before you open the box you draw a big breath and hold it while you undo the folds.

There it is, you have been waiting for two whole days, which felt like weeks and finally your gorgeous dress/shoes/bag/beautybox/iPad/book is here, sigh.

What happened before this moment may seem insignificant in light of the actually delivery, but as we all know (from Rocky Horror Picture show) it’s all about the an..tici…..Pation!

From the moment you start scouring your website of choice, you are searching for that one item, that one gift from you – to you! And even though you are the one choosing it, there is still a strange element of surprise: will it fit properly, will the size be right, and will the colour suit me? It’s all a bit of a gamble, but that is what makes it so much fun!

South African’s have been twice shy about shopping online, and who can blame us with all the banking fraud and other online money scams doing their rounds – But it’s time to put your fears aside, because there are excellent measures and payment options in place that will make online shopping safer than going to a store, and most shops have a free return policy, so there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

So I promised you 10 reasons to shop on line – here they are:

1. 36 boutiques

For rings and bags and gorgeous fashion, 36 is amazing, they deliver on average within 48 hours and the package that arrives is just a treat in itself, its smells beautiful and comes with a stunning carry bag.

2. Pretty Please

Pretty Please has gorgeous skirts, tops and dresses. Their packages arrive in a beautiful black box along with a very special hanger for the item you bought.

3. Shop Label

Shop Label is delish, however a bit on the expensive side. Great for jackets and scarves and gorgeous jeans.

4. GlossyBox

GlossyBox is the premier South African beauty box, you subscribe and presto – every month you receive a gorgeous box of beauty treats to try out at home.

5. I candy 

I Candy is a candy bowl of fun costume jewellery, the pieces make perfect gifts.

6. Zando

Zando is like an online fashion department store, they have everything from heels to jeans.

7. Woolworths

The comfort food of online shopping, you know it, you trust it, you buy it. You can even get your hands on some County Road online – and they currently have a sale on benefit items (Since Benefit is closing in South Africa)

8. Mr Price

The newest kid on the online shopping block, and we are already hearing positive reviews from satisfied customers.

9. 5 rooms

Home shopping porn, online.

10. Lingerie Letters

Another great idea, a surprise pair of knickers for every year of the month – I say why not!

BONUS:  Bloomingdales also ships to South Africa now, and there are a couple of items on my wish list

Shashi Rachel Rose Quartz Gemstone Bracelet

Boutique 9 Platform Pumps – Nosey Rhinestone

I fell in love with JAKLYN

I was wandering around in the V&A Waterfront yesterday afternoon, and I found a stunning pair of shoes… They are super comfortable and I am pretty sure you could run the two oceans in these – if you were so inclined. They price at ZAR 799.00 from Daniella Michelle at Zoom, not bad at all.

A short tale of Dexterous Shoe shopping and nefarious little shop assistants

In Search of Objectivity.

Perhaps there is a lot to be said for the whole “grass being greener on the other side because there’s just more shit” vibe… I can after this weekend totally understand that…

While in the peaceful land of not relationship I was merrily wandering around, as if in a shoe shop, trying on a pair here and there. I had managed to pick up a particularly nice pair of velveteen peep toes in soft brilliant black.

Not quite ready to pay for these shoes, I didn’t want to put them back either in the event that I will be purchasing them later on. I actually wanted them I just had to get some advise, to see if they are practical and not just an extravagance that I would later on regret.

Whilst the majority of my faithful crew of CTB’S and CTCB’s already bought shoes, and some were trying on their own pairs, I failed to find a friend to consult… thus I moved on to the next best thing… that being a shop assistant. (A shop assistant, in this case is an acquaintance relevant to the thing or person you want or want information about) But heed my warning ladies, as a shop assistant is always there to benefit from any deal she makes, whether it be in your favour or not…

I put on the black velveteen peeps and stood in front of the mirror “How do they make my calves look?” I asked “Oh great, are they comfortable?”

“I guess” I said.

She stood behind me with her index finger on her mouth and one eyebrow raised.

“What?” I said

“I can’t place it. It’s just… no, they’re fine. You like them so it’s fine.” She purred.

“No seriously, what’s wrong, I do like them, but I haven’t bought them. They are comfortable but if they seem wrong, tell me!” I said, now standing with one shoe in my hand the other still on and turning from back to front, to see if I can spot the “I don’t know so much” that she is talking about.

Finally I think I see it “Oh, you don’t think they are too high? I haven’t worn such high heels for ages.” I croon, in hope for some solid, exact advice.

“Yes well I don’t want to put you off, but lots of ladies have bought them, I just think you should have something better, you know – more you.”

I take the other shoe off and reluctantly make to put them back into their box.

Just then, one of the CTB’s on my own team spot this move, and come gliding to my rescue…

“Sweet, they are so nice, why you taking them off? And that face?… get them, they are perfect.”

She ushers me to the payment counter, and looks on expectantly while I fish in my bag for my wallet. The helpful shop assistant behind the counter opens the box to check that it’s the correct pair. “Aaahh, these are so great! And it’s the last 39 we had left. I Was rather hoping no one would buy them.” She smiles “You know, I wanted to get them at the end of the month.”

With this, I glance back at the lanky blonde sales assistant that was helping me, she half smiles then turns around to put other tried on shoes back into their boxes.

Fucking bitch, I think to myself… Then I remember seeing her out, it dawns on me – she is in fact just another want to be CTB, only she works in the shoe shop during the day times…

Heed my warning friends, shoe shopping, like ATM (boyfriend) shopping is a dangerous business. Everyone wants that pair of shoes or that gorgeous man you have on your arm, and you do have fabulous taste after all.